The Weekend Continent

by Neil Matthews

I spent a weekend in Bratislava, the capital of Slovakia, in August 2004. My only other, brief, acquaintance with that city had been in 1992, as an internal flight stop on a holiday in Czechoslovakia, months before it split into the Czech Republic and Slovakia. Bratislava is one of a number of European cities which have been increasingly promoted in recent years as weekend destinations. Developments such as the fall of the Soviet Union, the accession of both republics to the EU in 2004, and the rise of the low-cost airlines have all played their part.

We had been told beforehand that the city would serve well for a weekend visit, but not a longer break. That is a conclusion I would endorse. Unless you are a fan of Soviet brutalist tower block architecture, most of the sights of Bratislava lie within its compact Old Town. It’s an easy and attractive walk, along streets which have obviously been repaved quite recently. In similar vein, much paint has been devoted to restoring the Austro-Hungarian facades of many of the buildings. The authorities are clearly aware of the benefits of a continuing influx of tourists. That week’s edition of the English language Slovak Spectator reported on the creation of a special police unit “to discipline homeless people, drunkards, and other groups that make a mess or pester pedestrians in the city’s most exposed areas.”

The bronze statues dotted around the Old Town give a clue to the passion and quirky humour of the Slovaks. In namestie [square] SNP, we found three statues - a cloaked man and two women, in dramatic poses. Only from the front did we find that the man was brandishing a machine gun. This is the “Angry Family”, a monument to the anti-Fascist uprising which gives the square its name. The Lonely Planet guide [ignorance of football notwithstanding – see foot of article] tells us that huge crowds assembled here in late 1989 for the collapse of Communism, and Slovak nationalists also gathered here in 1992 before the “Velvet Divorce” of the Czech and Slovak Republics. On a lighter note, a Frenchman with a disturbing resemblance to Napoleon leans nonchalantly on a park bench in Hlavne namestie, the main tourist square. Elsewhere in the Old Town are The Photographer, a paparazzo forever frozen in the act of waiting for that perfect picture – he is cunningly hidden behind a pot plant – and The Peeper, a helmeted man peering out from under a manhole on Panska.

The compact nature of the Old Town enabled us to get round a number of the key sights during our weekend. Bratislava Castle, which is sometimes described as resembling an upturned bed, hosts the Slovak National Museum (which includes displays of typical Slovak furniture) and the Treasury of Slovakia – an archaeological exhibition. The Town Hall’s tower gives a high spot from which to view Hlavne namestie, as well as displaying bizarrely eclectic contents: historical ephemera from old Bratislava (doll’s houses, a penny farthing bicycle, bank account books), excellent Dutch glassware and, in the basement, the Municipal Museum’s guide to different methods of torture. Next to the Town Hall is the Primate’s Palace, a pink and gold confection of a building which houses a hall of mirrors in which Napoleon and Franz I of Austria signed the Treaty of Pressburg – Bratislava’s name for 700 years until the 20th century. Once the attendants had removed the stubs from our entrance tickets, we were left with fully functional postcards, complete with suitable printing on the reverse of a picture of the Palace: a neat idea. Elsewhere in town, the Museum of Clocks and the Museum of Decorative Arts are only accessible by narrow staircases, but worth the climb if you can manage it. Meanwhile, the Museum of Jewish Culture gives insight into the life of Jews in the city over the centuries including, inevitably and movingly, hints of the suffering endured in the World Wars and the Holocaust. Entrance to the various museums and exhibitions was cheap – an average 50-100 korunas per head (about £1-£2), or not many Euros if that is your preferred payment method.

Plenty of bars and restaurants will sate your hunger, also for very reasonable prices…but, if you are vegetarian, you may have to look long and hard at the menu to find more than one or two options. The portions are large and the flavourings often strong and spicy. However, a warmed-up and miserably inadequate apfelstrudel endured one evening proved that even central European signature dishes can sound a duff note sometimes. (The French group at the next table, who enjoyed the rest of their meal, were as unimpressed as I was with the strudel!) You may be disconcerted by the speed with which the waiters clear away your plate – even if others at the table are still eating – although this comes across as eager rather than rude. The goulash, fish and pancakes are recommended.

As for accommodation, we struck it lucky by staying at the Carlton SAS Radisson Hotel on Hviedzdoslavovo namestie, right next to the Old Town. So plush was our room that, according to the corporate literature, it was only fluffy robes and an ironing board away from “business class”. Having stayed – by choice - in our share of economy hotels over the years, we appreciated a touch of luxury, and the beauty of the tree-lined square, complete with cafes, bandstand, fountain…and, oh yes, a roped-off American embassy!

So, is Bratislava a good example of Europe turning into a “weekend continent” – somewhere for UK tourists to visit for short stays? I believe it is. We didn’t do absolutely everything we could have done while there. St Martin Cathedral, a modest-looking 14th century Gothic structure, escaped our attention, as did some other museums. Given Bratislava’s proximity to Vienna, a day trip to the Austrian capital by train may also be feasible.

Bratislava is friendly, safe, cheap and modern: so much so that it’s hard to believe that, until recently, it had fallen under the dead hand of Soviet Communism. And there, maybe, is a rub. If a city can submerge so much of its past so quickly and efficiently, does it lose its uniqueness? Is there any way to reap the benefits of mass tourism without the side-effects? Does Bratislava really need a McDonald’s and an Irish pub? Or are we on an irreversible road to a bland Eurozone where every city is the same?

First published in VISA issue 59 (February 2005)