National Parks, Canyons and Mensans

by Maxine Bates

In June 2004 I took an Archers coach tour of national parks and canyons of the USA before attending the American Mensa Annual Gathering in Las Vegas over 4th July weekend.

My outbound journey took 27 hours due to freak electrical storms over the whole of north east USA. I flew from Birmingham to Denver via Newark (New Jersey). I had five hours to clear immigration and change planes and unfortunately an additional four hours sitting on the runway at Newark. We had to board in order for the plane to push away from the air bridge as all flights were being brought down but none allowed to take off. I eventually arrived at my Denver hotel around 1.00 am and I'm sure the tour rep was rather miffed at having to wait up to greet just me at the airport. Everyone else joining the tour had flown in from Heathrow, Gatwick or Manchester without too much delay.

The optional city sightseeing tour of Denver departed at 8.00 am so there was no way I was going to make that having arrived so late. As the ‘mile high city’ is a safe place and easily navigable, instead I strolled the streets on my own taking a free tour of the State Capitol building with its gold dome roof, toured Molly Brown's house (the Titanic survivor portrayed in the James Cameron film by Kathy Bates), saw historic Larimer Square and visited the Colorado History Museum. A free shuttle bus operates the length of the 16th Street Mall through the centre of Denver which makes it very easy to get around. Look out on the west steps of the State Capitol for the marker indicating one mile above sea level. Oh, and I went shopping for a coat as the weather was much colder/wetter than expected due to the storms. In the evening I went to a baseball game at Coors Field. Colorado Rockies v. Baltimore Orioles. I’d no idea of the rules but it was a fun experience for only a $4 seat in the ‘rock pile’. I got the impression that the game was only secondary to the other entertainment and food!

Next day I met the rest of the tour group. There were 39 of us on a 55 seater coach so plenty of room to spread out. There was a ‘seat rotation’ system each day and to start with I was placed on the front row. Ages ranged from late 40s to 80s making me youngest by far but everyone was very friendly. We had a brief tour of Cheyenne before arriving in Custer to visit the Crazy Horse Memorial. This is the largest stone sculpture in the world in honour of the American Indians and is nowhere near finished yet! Amazing stuff! The sculptor has now died and his wife and seven children are continuing the work.

As became the norm, next day suitcases had to be ready by 7.00 am and we departed at 8.00 am. Luckily our group was punctual and we left early most days allowing us extra time at the tourist attractions. Today (also Father’s Day) we saw the carved faces of Washington, Jefferson, Roosevelt and Lincoln at Mount Rushmore in the Black Hills of South Dakota. Another amazing sight! There was an interesting film show and not-so-interesting museum about the sculptor Gutzon Borglum. We learnt that Jefferson should have been carved to Washington’s right, but the rock was found to be unsuitable. So Jefferson’s half carved face was blasted away and he was moved to the left instead! I enquired whether another face would ever be carved into the mountain and was told no because a) there is not enough suitable rock available, b) the process takes too long and is too expensive and c) a consensus would never be agreed about the 5th face!

We stayed overnight in the wild west town of Lead (pronounced Leed rather than Led) and in the evening took a tour of Deadwood. This was in an old school bus rather than the infamous Deadwood stage! The town is where Wild Bill Hicock and Calamity Jane are buried. The main street was closed for a shoot out. Apparently the residents of Deadwood will have a shoot out, lots of drinking and partying for any excuse and tonight was one of them.

Day five was mostly a scenic drive through Wyoming and its Bighorn National Forest, pretty Shell Falls and a view of Devil’s Tower (where the UFOs landed in the film Close Encounters of the Third Kind) in the distance. Arriving in the town of Cody I remarked that our accommodation at the Holiday Inn looked like the set of the film Chicken Run and everyone laughed. We were staying in wooden cabins lined up just like in the film. Inside they were quite cosy with a cuddly ‘Billy Buffalo’ in each room as a bed mate. There was a welcome reception with free samples of wine and nibbles. By the time I’d had my glass topped up several times I didn't really care when I discovered I’d lost my suitcase keys and it had to be prised open with a screwdriver by the receptionist! This wasn't really a problem as currently US customs demand that all hold luggage is unlocked so that they can randomly check any item. If your case is chosen and it’s locked, then they have the power to break into it. Bizarre! Apart from this strange new rule, I had no problem with US immigration. In fact, they seemed much more security aware in the UK.

The next two days were spent in Yellowstone National Park. An awesome place with four types of natural feature – geysers, hot springs, fumaroles and mud pots – as well as crystal clear lakes, snow capped mountains, elk, bison and much more. Words just cannot describe the beauty. We saw the devastation caused by the fires in 1988 which nearly destroyed this National Park and, of course, we saw the famous Old Faithful geyser. The park rangers are able to predict the time of the next eruption to within a few minutes and they occur approx. every 80 minutes. We stayed overnight in the park at Mammoth Hot Springs Hotel. Again we had wooden cabins, this time with tiny prairie dogs on our terraces. Had we had time to drive an extra six miles north of the park we could have visited Montana and claimed eight instead of seven states on the tour! (The others being Colorado, South Dakota, Wyoming, Idaho, Utah, Arizona and Nevada.)

After Yellowstone we spent two nights at Jackson Hole and, whilst there, I took two optional excursions. One evening we rode in a covered wagon to a ‘cook out’ with delicious BBQ chicken, ribs, salads, corn, etc, followed by a cowboy show. The following morning I went on a raft trip down the Snake River looking at the Grand Teton mountains and wildlife such as bald eagles, bison, herons and Canada geese. Jackson Hole itself is fairly small with a town square surrounded by many shops, yet I struggled to find anywhere serving food. The town is popular as a ski resort in the winter.

Next stop was Salt Lake City where we learned about the Mormon religion on a free guided tour of Temple Square. The guides were young girls from around the world and very enthusiastic about their religion. This is where Brigham Young declared “This is the place” to his pioneers and where they began to build their famous Tabernacle (which is only open to devout Mormons though we did hear the Tabernacle choir practising from outside). I had last visited Salt Lake City in 1996 and much had changed due to the winter Olympics taking place there in the interim. In the evening I joined our tour guide and driver for dinner and drinks in the penthouse bar of our hotel overlooking the city. And also got some insider info on leading such tours i.e. the hassle involved!

Then it was on to Bryce Canyon which some say is better than Grand Canyon and I agree. The tall pointy ‘hoodoo’ rock formations are an amazing sight and the canyon is quite small with well thought out viewing platforms. We stayed at Ruby’s Inn on the outskirts of the canyon and there was a rodeo nearby in the evening. Five of us decided to go and what fun for only $5! After the cowboys had done their stuff on the bucking horses we were treated to the sight of their 3-4 year old children doing the same on sheep. Yes, really! We weren’t sure if this was cruel to the kids or animals! There were also teenagers riding bulls, cowgirls barrel racing, and father and son teams roping the bulls. It seems rodeo is a real family sport. A clown acted as MC holding the whole event together.

Zion National Park (pronounced to rhyme with lion rather than zee-on) was lovely with colourful rock cliffs, trickling streams, colourful flora and walking trails. It would have been nice to have much longer there to take full advantage of the free shuttle that operates along the canyon floor from the visitor centre to the Temple of Sinawava viewing point via Zion Museum showing a 20 minute film about the park and Zion Lodge for food and drink. However, time was fleeting though as we crossed into Arizona the clocks moved back one hour. En route to our hotel in Page we saw Glen Canyon Dam and Lake Powell. The water level has been lowering for four years and with not much rain may be completely dry in another two years. This could mean disaster as Lake Powell supplies Las Vegas with its water. That evening I’d opted to treat myself to a flight over Monument Valley. Not cheap at $160 for 90 minutes but worthwhile. We flew in a six-seater Cessna plane and saw sunset over Rainbow Bridge (the largest natural arched rock in the world), Lake Powell and Monument Valley made famous in many films. Yet another stunning sight! The evening was rounded off with a meal at a steakhouse which appeared to be the American equivalent of a Harvester!

On day 12, we arrived at Grand Canyon and viewed it through a thunder and lightning storm which is most unusual. Our guide was quite excited about the weather; our group was just disappointed to be seeing the canyon in heavy rain! The outside observation deck up the tower at Desert View on the south rim was closed due to the threat of lightning. However, we stayed in cabins in the park so once the rain had stopped had the opportunity to walk five minutes to the canyon rim to watch the sunset. Dinner was a choice of the cafeteria at the visitors centre - or the cafeteria at the visitors centre. Oh dear. I spent the rest of the evening trying to find something decent to watch on TV but could only find three reality TV programmes back to back or 50 channels of endless commercials!

On our last day we drove along Route 66 towards Las Vegas. Seat rotation meant I'd gone full circle so was once again on the front row for the drive along Las Vegas Boulevard (better known as The Strip) to the Stratosphere Hotel. Even as my 4th visit I still found it exciting and ended up almost giving the narration instead of the guide (who hated Las Vegas)! At this point my tour was almost over as I was about to attend the American Mensa Annual Gathering starting the next day. This meant I spent two nights at the Stratosphere Hotel at the north end of the Strip as part of the tour before moving to the Paris Hotel centrally located on the Strip for the AG. During my days in Las Vegas I went in nearly all the themed hotel casinos. Not to gamble but just to watch the free shows and wonder at the over-the-top decor. Where else can you visit Venice, Paris, Egypt and New York in just one street!? Las Vegas is an amazing place. One day I persuaded a fellow Mensan to ride all the roller coasters with me, which was fun! But the new one overhanging the 107th floor of the Stratosphere Tower was even too scary for me (a member of the Roller Coaster Club of Great Britain)! One evening 12 of us dined in the revolving restaurant up the Stratosphere Tower timing our meal so that we saw The Strip by day and after a revolution we saw the bright lights at night. The meal cost over $70 each but the food, service and views were excellent. Just had to eat McDonald’s the next day to compensate!

As part of the Annual Gathering events programme, I attended a talk by Lois Duncan (author of I Know What You Did Last Summer, now made into a movie), a talk called Flying Without Dying given by a Mensan air stewardess who told of her experience of being hijacked and air safety today, and a talk by the female manager of Sheri’s Ranch which is a high class brothel in Nevada. All were most informative and interesting. There were also lessons in tai chi and belly dancing, formal dinners, lessons in poker and other casino games, a blood donor session, a 24/7 craft room, a reaffirmation of wedding vows ceremony for Mensa couples and much, much more. In addition the hospitality suite served nibbles, sodas, beer, wine and champagne from midday on Wednesday to midnight on Sunday - all complimentary too! But with temperatures reaching 100 F it seemed a shame to stay in the hotel all the time.

Saturday lunch, I opted out of the Mensa programme to meet my penpal who flew down to stay with me from Reno (north Nevada). We had met before but not since 1996. We also met her younger sister who lives in Vegas and went for lunch at the Hard Rock Cafe where we were seated next to a wedding party. Well, at least one guest looked like a big white meringue and you can get married virtually anywhere in Las Vegas - even at a drive-thru window! Saturday evening Jill (my penpal) and I met a few Mensa friends and went downtown to dine at the Golden Nugget Hotel before watching the revamped Fremont Street Experience which is a huge light show on a canopy over the pedestrianised street. Being 4th July weekend there was a special patriotic show. The bus ride back down The Strip took forever as it was a solid eight lanes of traffic. So Jill and I hopped off the bus, were picked up by her sister off-Strip and went clubbing at Mandalay Bay which was an excellent 70s disco followed by a drink at the Crown and Anchor which I was told was a British pub but looked nothing like one to me! After another bar we arrived back at the Paris Hotel gone 3.00 am. Needless to say 4th July started with a nice lie-in! It ended with a lovely meal overlooking the famous fountain show at the Bellagio Hotel (the poshest place to stay in town) and we had booked tickets to see the “O” show by Cirque du Soleil which is set on water and just spectacular. I was expecting nothing less for $99 per ticket - and that’s the cheap seats! A final tour of some of the casinos brought my stay in Las Vegas and my whole trip to an end. Unfortunately I didn’t hit the jackpot and had to come home! You can get rid of your cents in the slot machines in the airport departure lounge though!

First published in VISA issue 58 (December 2004)